I’ve been reminded a lot lately of what the days used to be like for me. In just a little over 2 weeks I’ve managed to fight off a viral infection that turned into a sinus infection, only to find out a week later I have yet another sinus infection and an ear infection.
You see these would be rather simple things to fight off given a normal body but with my terrible immune system and my POTS being normal people sick really throws me under deep.
My body feels weak again, like it used to two years ago. I’m covered in the chills and the sweats that used to be a normal everyday thing for me. Im stuck in my bed again because moving around is too much.
These last two and a half weeks have reminded me of how far I’ve come. It’s very easy for me to often forget or not realize that I’ve made any progress at all, but as I lay here looking like a waterfall from sweating and not doing anything I remember that this used to be a daily occurrence for me but is no longer. As I walk around feeling as if my weight is being pulled to the ground I remember that for a while I haven’t felt these feelings and I am thankful, so very thankful.
I always say that it shouldn’t be possible for chronically ill kids to get normal people sick but I have yet to see that day. I’m thankful tonight even though I feel like I’m falling apart that I am able to realize that slowly but surely I am becoming stronger.
It’s hard to verbalize all the emotions I feel right now as I am frustrated in fear that I’m taking 10 steps back, and as I worry how I will manage to catch up on all that I have missed in shook recently but for just a second even I am happy because I see now that the healing has begun.