Grieving over a Girl.

I’m grieving and I don’t know why. My thoughts are clouded and I can’t think straight. My palms are sweaty and my heart aches. 

I don’t understand grief. I mean I get the concept, I know what it is and I know why people go through it, I understand that part. But here I am a month after she has passed away and I find myself lying in my bed grieving over a girl whose soul I barely got to know. 

I don’t know why I’m grieving, we only met once. Her curly hair was like mine, and her outgoing personality and goofy soul the same too. But we didn’t know each other. We didn’t share secrets and we didn’t share inside jokes, we only shared each other’s presence for an hour but I’m grieving.

Today I was given back the hats I gifted to her. The tags still on most of them as she never got a chance to wear them. I held them tight because I knew they had once held her touch. 

I’m grieving over a girl I barely knew. My stomach feels sick to think about what her family feels. My knees give out when I imagine how it ended. I’m grieving over a girl I barely knew. 

We only had each other’s presence for an hour but in that hour I learned more about her than I thought I did. Her determination and will to fight. Her strength. Her humor, and friendliness was enough to fill the hearts of this entire world had she had the chance.

I’m grieving over a girl I barely knew and the anger I feel for how her story on earth ended is enough for me to punch a thousand holes in a wall.

I’m pissed off that this earth allows such tragedy to occur. I’m angry at our society for not figuring out the answer already. I’m beaten down because I can’t fix everything. 

I’m grieving over a girl I barely knew, and I’m mad at this world. 

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