We make it work.

I often find myself in situations where I think “that would be good to blog about”, I keep the thought around in my head for a few days until I have the chance to sit down and get it out but by the time I actually sit down the thought is gone. I’ve been waiting for the right thing to blog about lately as it’s been almost a month since my last post. Today I walked away from a certain class with my mind spinning, I felt as if what I had just experienced was just a dream as I was still trying to wrap my thoughts around it all. Today I sat at a table with 5 girls including myself, 3 in which I was beyond comfortable (2 I have been friends with sine freshman year and the other a slightly new friend), the 4th girl a classmate. While looking through college pamphlets the topic was brought up about where we wanted to go for college and what we wanted to study, many things were thrown on the plate: Loyola in Chicago, Earlham, business major, foreign language, psychology, neurology. It was all so exciting to think about where we would be in the next few years. As quickly as we were dreaming about the future we found ourselves recollecting the past few years somehow landing on the topic of when I first got sick. The classmate seemed eager to state her thoughts on the situation making oh so many assumptions on just what I went through during that time in my life. Completely confused as to what to exactly say back to the statements made as all I could really formulate in my head was “no, not at all, you’re very wrong” . Understanding that wasn’t the proper thing to say I turned to one of my best friends looking for the right words and somehow she knew just what to say. It caught me off guard at first as she is my sassy friend who keeps me laughing at all times with her responses to most things I expected just a big fat “NO” to come out of her mouth. The girl continued to make her assumptions, and trying to block them out I thought back to all the times before I was sick that I had spent with these friends of mine, all the silly things we had done that at the time seemed so cool. I left my day dreaming when the fairly new friend mentioned something about us being friends 3 years later even after I had become sick. “Wow” I thought in my head, I know I am always so thankful for my friends to have stayed by my side but I guess I never had really heard it come out of someone else’s mouth before. Once again I found myself lost for words again, I turned around and right as I did the most perfect words slipped out of one of my most precious friends mouth “we’ve figured out how to make it work”. Wow, all this time I’ve searched for the way to make sense of it all and in just a few simple words she was able to sum up what I’ve been looking for. Not only was I completely amazed that those words had  come out of her mouth but my heart felt this huge sigh of relief. I have always worried so much about how my health has affected my friendships especially with those closest to me. I’ve wanted nothing more but to be able to provide and be there for these people in my life at all times but it so quickly changed and I found myself completely relying on these friends for so much. All of that worry that has been inside of me for so long just seemed to slip away as each of those words came out of her mouth. I can easily say that those words will quite possibly be engraved in my memory for the rest of my time here on earth, I’ve never been so comforted by something so simple. I think what I learned today was that even though I know everything I go through I have to remember that others won’t always get it. I have to learn to accept the words of others even though they hurt because they don’t know any better. I must find patience out of my frustration and use it to teach and lead. To my special friend today who showed me what I have been searching for for so long thank you, thank you, thank you. I may never have the exact words to put together to show my appreciation for you but just know that gosh I am so so so appreciative of all you’ve given me. To anyone else who has been there for me and found the words to place when I haven’t been able to find them, thank you. 

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