Month: September 2014

A month of Blue.

Maybe you weren’t aware but the month of October is Dysautonomia awareness month which means I need your help turning this month blue! Dysautonomia is a category given to autonomic disorders such as POTS and many more! Dysautonomia International, the most popular foundation for Dysauronomia has decided to get creative by asking all of its supporters to change their profile picture to themselves with an actual pot on their heads to get people talking about POTS! So what is it you tell people when you’re asked why you look like a total goof well the answer is that you’re supporting someone this month fighting an autonomic disorder! Less than 20,000 americans suffer from POTS! This month is all about honoring the doctors that help keep us strong, the families that support our journey, and all of the fighters themselves! Help me and so many others raise awareness by going blue this October! Get your blue on and join the army in the fight against POTS!

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It is worth it.

There’s a problem plaguing our society. I have chosen each one of these words specifically. It is a problem because it’s something that’s not okay, it’s plaguing because it’s seriously becoming more and more common, and our society because it is not just subject to one part of human culture but human culture in an entirety. We can look at certain parts of statistics and data and say that the problem is lying in this age and this gender and it’s because of this and if we fix this then we will fix the problem and it will go away. Maybe you’re wondering why I have yet to inform you of this problem, why you ask? As soon as you read this one word that is becoming more and more common you will look away, you will divert your attention elsewhere because not reading about it means you don’t have to think about it. So what’s the problem? It’s suicide, we live in a society yes a society as a whole all ages, all cultures, all races, where self worth is so low that one turns to the ending of their life as a way to cope with the pain. Why have we allowed ourselves to create a place that we live in where one could feel so low that the only way out would seem to be leaving forever? Why don’t we talk about what hurts us, why don’t we look for help when we need it, why don’t we let others know it’s okay to not be okay? We have created a living environment so uncomfortable that one would rather leave than reach out for a helping hand. You see we avoid this topic because it is depressing, it makes us feel uncomfortable, we don’t know what to say, or how to cope. We must be conscious when educating and bringing attention to such a problem as it is feared a “ripple effect” can occur from the evoking of such emotions. So how do we fix the problem? How do we put a stop to the low self esteem that lies in oneself. How do we provide the comfort and the value to one that feels so lost? It’s easy, we start a chain reaction. Problems don’t get fixed by ignoring them, problems get fixed by addressing them. If you never fix a flat tire it will never become full again, if you never fix someone’s sense of self worth it will never become more valuable. What must be known in society today is that there is a way, there is a way, there is a way. Ending your life will never be the answer and I can guarantee you that. It takes one to stand up to encourage another to stand up. Self worth must be known you are loved, you have a purpose, and you are worth more than you will know. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help, do not be ashamed, you are not the only one struggling, we as a society are hurting but we as a society can get better. Self worth can thrive, we can feel loved and valued but it takes the commitment. Why give up now when the sun will always rise tomorrow, wake up tomorrow for the sunrise and the next tomorrow and the next, it is worth it.

We make it work.

I often find myself in situations where I think “that would be good to blog about”, I keep the thought around in my head for a few days until I have the chance to sit down and get it out but by the time I actually sit down the thought is gone. I’ve been waiting for the right thing to blog about lately as it’s been almost a month since my last post. Today I walked away from a certain class with my mind spinning, I felt as if what I had just experienced was just a dream as I was still trying to wrap my thoughts around it all. Today I sat at a table with 5 girls including myself, 3 in which I was beyond comfortable (2 I have been friends with sine freshman year and the other a slightly new friend), the 4th girl a classmate. While looking through college pamphlets the topic was brought up about where we wanted to go for college and what we wanted to study, many things were thrown on the plate: Loyola in Chicago, Earlham, business major, foreign language, psychology, neurology. It was all so exciting to think about where we would be in the next few years. As quickly as we were dreaming about the future we found ourselves recollecting the past few years somehow landing on the topic of when I first got sick. The classmate seemed eager to state her thoughts on the situation making oh so many assumptions on just what I went through during that time in my life. Completely confused as to what to exactly say back to the statements made as all I could really formulate in my head was “no, not at all, you’re very wrong” . Understanding that wasn’t the proper thing to say I turned to one of my best friends looking for the right words and somehow she knew just what to say. It caught me off guard at first as she is my sassy friend who keeps me laughing at all times with her responses to most things I expected just a big fat “NO” to come out of her mouth. The girl continued to make her assumptions, and trying to block them out I thought back to all the times before I was sick that I had spent with these friends of mine, all the silly things we had done that at the time seemed so cool. I left my day dreaming when the fairly new friend mentioned something about us being friends 3 years later even after I had become sick. “Wow” I thought in my head, I know I am always so thankful for my friends to have stayed by my side but I guess I never had really heard it come out of someone else’s mouth before. Once again I found myself lost for words again, I turned around and right as I did the most perfect words slipped out of one of my most precious friends mouth “we’ve figured out how to make it work”. Wow, all this time I’ve searched for the way to make sense of it all and in just a few simple words she was able to sum up what I’ve been looking for. Not only was I completely amazed that those words had  come out of her mouth but my heart felt this huge sigh of relief. I have always worried so much about how my health has affected my friendships especially with those closest to me. I’ve wanted nothing more but to be able to provide and be there for these people in my life at all times but it so quickly changed and I found myself completely relying on these friends for so much. All of that worry that has been inside of me for so long just seemed to slip away as each of those words came out of her mouth. I can easily say that those words will quite possibly be engraved in my memory for the rest of my time here on earth, I’ve never been so comforted by something so simple. I think what I learned today was that even though I know everything I go through I have to remember that others won’t always get it. I have to learn to accept the words of others even though they hurt because they don’t know any better. I must find patience out of my frustration and use it to teach and lead. To my special friend today who showed me what I have been searching for for so long thank you, thank you, thank you. I may never have the exact words to put together to show my appreciation for you but just know that gosh I am so so so appreciative of all you’ve given me. To anyone else who has been there for me and found the words to place when I haven’t been able to find them, thank you.